Familiarity and belonging

Changes, Displacement, and the Building of New Reference Points

Between July and August, many families take advantage of the school holidays to move to another city or even to another country.

Times of transition are often hectic because of the practical work they require and the emotional upheaval they bring. Feelings of farewell and anticipation coexist and intertwine. Don't forget to talk about them.

Our first encounters with something new often bring a sense of confusion. We stumble, take the wrong turn, and may not even know how to ask for directions. We arrive home frustrated, confused, uncertain... but we arrive home. A familiar place, even if the furniture is different.

A place—a home!—where people understand each other, where the food is the same and the habits are familiar too. A place where, above all, there is familiarity.

Losing that sense of familiarity is common among people living abroad. That is why, at home, it is important to maintain some old habits. They help us ground our emotions; they are like threads connecting us to what feels safe and secure.

In addition, maintaining certain habits is a way of giving ourselves a break. During the process of adapting to a new country, we are constantly taking in and processing a great deal of new information, in an ongoing process of learning.

During this phase, we think much more because we can no longer act on autopilot. We don't have an “autopilot” because we are new to the place. Only repetition creates a habit, and that takes time.

Time, habits, and familiarity, however, although they contribute to adaptation, do not guarantee a sense of belonging. This feeling is closely connected to the strength of the threads that connect us to a place, a group, or a community. Threads woven together, tangled with memories, sensations, and emotions.

In a new experience of uprooting, we may feel these connections becoming more fragile, loose, lacking strength and tension. The key to keeping a sense of belonging alive is to find spaces where these threads of connection can remain active, vibrant, and strong.

An activity to do as a family

A beautiful and meaningful way to strengthen these threads of belonging is to look back at our own history. When we revisit the places where we have lived, the people who have been part of our journey, and the moments that marked each stage of our lives, we remember that our identity does not disappear when we move—it travels with us. Our story travels with us.

With this in mind, we would like to offer a simple activity for families who would like to do something together at home: create a family timeline, recording the places where you have lived, the most important moves, significant events, and special memories from each stage. The goal is not to create something “perfect,” but to make space for conversation, listening, and connection.

The activity can be done in many ways: on a poster, on an A4 sheet of paper, or even digitally. You can include dates, cities, drawings, maps, photographs, important milestones, friendships, schools, trips, meaningful objects, or any memories you would like to preserve. Each family member can also create their own individual timeline, sharing their perspective on the family story.

As you build this narrative together, you can talk about questions such as: Which move was the most difficult? Which place brought the most joy? How did each person feel when arriving in the new country or city? Which family habits helped create a sense of home? What stayed the same, and what changed?

More than simply remembering the past, this activity helps children and adults recognize that although places may change, there is a shared history that sustains the family and travels with them wherever they go.

See some examples:

Content created by Rianne Zabaleta, psychologist at Florescer Cuida de Você.